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Steve Vai is a double agent!
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 15, 2004 8:09 pm    Post subject: Steve Vai is a double agent! Reply with quote

Steve Vai is a double agent, sent to destroy metal. He is the Kiss of Death.

Steve Vai can play the guitar, no doubt about it. Steve Vai can play 128th notes with his teeth while gargling. No doubt about it. Steve's first gig of any importance was playing with Frank Zappa. Who is now dead. Maybe Steve poisoned him! After that, Steve made some truly wretched solo records, and then set out to destroy Alcatrazz. And succeeded! After fellow-poseur Yngwie Malmsteen bolted on Graham Bonnet to do the bidding of the DeNovo Group, Steve Vai joined Alcatrazz, and made one of the worst follow-up albums of all time in "DISTURBING THE PEACE." Disturbing indeed. Steve actually played acid jazz riffs and solos on what was supposed to be a metal record. Idiot. Alcatrazz, after Graham and Yngwie lead them to a very good debut album which went gold in the U.S., was dead within two years of Steve's evil joining. Then, Steve Vai, bent on furthering the destruction of metal, hooked up with David Lee Roth, who was then one of the hottest entertainers in the world, having just left Van Halen after several huge years.

David Lee Who? Steve's songwriting on Roth's "Eat 'em And Smile" and "Skyscraper" records is pitiful. Dude can't write a good metal song to save his life. Roth never recovered.

You would think at this point that Steve Vai would be faced with the prospect of feeding himself via playing in Frank Zappa tribute bands. Nope. Relying on his evil powers, Steve managed to get recruited by David Coverdale into Whitesnake, which after three straight platinum albums and the huge accompanying world tours was one of the biggest bands in the world. Two years later, they were gone, Steve Vai's latest victims. 80s metal, reeling under Steve's vicious assault, gave up the ghost shortly thereafter.

There is no way this is a coincidence. The only remaining question here is this: did Steve mean it? Was his destruction of metal deliberate, or just an accident? Bonnet, Roth, and Coverdale: three great singers felled by the evil Steve. Did he mean it?

I believe he did mean it. I believe Steve Vai was sent by disco record labels to destroy metal. The historical record speaks for itself. Thank god David Lee Roth is still alive!
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Wyvern



Joined: 03 May 2002
Posts: 2214
Location: Costa Rica

PostPosted: Mon Mar 15, 2004 9:31 pm    Post subject: Steve Vai is a double agent! Reply with quote

Since I'm the official troll feder of the board, I must say that your level of idiocy is commendable. Is obviously not the product of genetic malfucntion due to inbreeding, but the achievent of years and years of practice in front of the mirror.

Please keep posting, we need a local troll to bash and wake up from boredom. [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]
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live4metal



Joined: 12 Jul 2001
Posts: 1057
Location: El Segundo,CA.

PostPosted: Mon Mar 15, 2004 9:32 pm    Post subject: Steve Vai is a double agent! Reply with quote

Good stuff man.You've convinced me,he is evil!After all he did play the Devil in Cross Roads.Or was he acting at all?
There's a few Vai fans on this Board that think he's great.Myself,I never thought he did anything memorable.A competent player who's career has consisted of mostly hired gun status and ego centrical self indulgent studio albums.
I'll take feeling over technacality anyday,and Vai always lacked in feeling 2me.
I know,others disagree, but hey,I'm an Yngwie man myself.
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Jim McCormick



Joined: 09 Oct 2003
Posts: 467
Location: Cedar Rapids, IA

PostPosted: Tue Mar 16, 2004 8:20 am    Post subject: Steve Vai is a double agent! Reply with quote

quote:
Originally posted by live4Metal:
Good stuff man.You've convinced me,he is evil!After all he did play the Devil in Cross Roads.Or was he acting at all?
There's a few Vai fans on this Board that think he's great.Myself,I never thought he did anything memorable.A competent player who's career has consisted of mostly hired gun status and ego centrical self indulgent studio albums.
I'll take feeling over technacality anyday,and Vai always lacked in feeling 2me.
I know,others disagree, but hey,I'm an Yngwie man myself.

Ditto!
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Ug



Joined: 26 Oct 2002
Posts: 1028
Location: Down in a Hole

PostPosted: Tue Mar 16, 2004 9:23 am    Post subject: Steve Vai is a double agent! Reply with quote

errrr....ok! [img]images/smiles/icon_rolleyes.gif[/img]
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Jim McCormick



Joined: 09 Oct 2003
Posts: 467
Location: Cedar Rapids, IA

PostPosted: Tue Mar 16, 2004 3:17 pm    Post subject: Steve Vai is a double agent! Reply with quote

I'll clarify my ditto. I don't think Steve Vai is evil at all, just a tad inane, & that may be part reason some of the former mentioned acts failed, though Roth is good at hanging himself. I did like Steve on Roth's album though, I think...it's been along time since I played it. [img]images/smiles/icon_smile.gif[/img]
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nuclear_x



Joined: 19 Feb 2000
Posts: 603
Location: portland

PostPosted: Tue Mar 16, 2004 6:58 pm    Post subject: Steve Vai is a double agent! Reply with quote

men waering a dress is more evil
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PaulEMoz



Joined: 24 Oct 2000
Posts: 843
Location: Newcastle, England...now in Detroit, MI, USA

PostPosted: Tue Mar 16, 2004 7:14 pm    Post subject: Steve Vai is a double agent! Reply with quote

I like this person. Their posts are humourous and tongue in cheek, with a small undercurrent of truth. I don't agree with them all, but they've livened the place up.

Good for you sah! Unless you're a girl, in which case, good for you, miss! [img]images/smiles/icon_smile.gif[/img]
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live4metal



Joined: 12 Jul 2001
Posts: 1057
Location: El Segundo,CA.

PostPosted: Tue Mar 16, 2004 7:49 pm    Post subject: Steve Vai is a double agent! Reply with quote

I welcome some new blood.And I feel a special kinship with C.O.W.4I too am a smarta$$.And I know a fellow a$$hole when I hear one.Welcome brother!
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