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Night-Breed
Joined: 18 Sep 1999 Posts: 1417
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Posted: Tue Oct 19, 1999 2:28 pm Post subject: The Mighty Metallica |
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OK, So they've strayed from the path, we can all agree on that at least. I personally like the old stuff, some of the new stuff, even a few of the covers. I don't care about their money, morals, or who they sleep with. I (usually) like the music they make. I was actually really impressed to see the nod to Thin Lizzy with "Whiskey in the Jar."
But, yeah, [b]A F##KING SYMPHONY? WTF?!?[/b]
So the question is this, what's next for the Mighty Met? Here are my predictions:
A five piece horn section.
A southern black baptist choir singing backups for James.
A sex book like Madonna's.
A co-headlining tour with U2.
Jason dead outside the Viper Room in West Hollywood from a coke & heroin overdose. Has Axl Rose's phone number in his pocket.
Kirk fighting over little boys with Michael Jackson at the Neverland Ranch, then getting canned for coming out of the closet. Later photographed with Sigfreid & Roy in a hottub.
Banjos.
James organises a free concert in NYC's Central Park to fund the Heidi Fleiss Defense Fund.
"Got Milk?" advertisments.
Lars leaving the band to tour with Vanilla Ice after beating the crap out of Pam Anderson.
They start playing Branson, Missouri nightly on a double bill with Conway Twitty.
A Halloween gig wearing KISS makeup.
Product endorsement from Summers Eve. (If you don't know - be grateful!)
I'm taking all bets. What are your predictions?
[img]http://www.gibson.com/products/gibson/LesPaul/1999/images/custom- pic2.jpg[/img] |
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DEFFY
Joined: 21 Jul 1999 Posts: 150 Location: HOUSTON, TX, USA
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Posted: Tue Oct 19, 1999 3:17 pm Post subject: The Mighty Metallica |
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Christmas is right around the corner.
Metallica revisits "We Are the World" with special guests: Hanson, Garth Brooks, Puff Daddy and James new inspiration/hero (no longer Tony Iommy) Placido Domingo.
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mixer
Joined: 17 Sep 1999 Posts: 30 Location: Portland, OR
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Posted: Tue Oct 19, 1999 3:23 pm Post subject: The Mighty Metallica |
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Corny concept album ala "Music From The Elder"
County fair appearances
"Cruising" downtown Berlin
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HeatherMetal
Joined: 26 Jul 1999 Posts: 1586 Location: Nashvegas, TN USA
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Posted: Tue Oct 19, 1999 3:35 pm Post subject: The Mighty Metallica |
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Guest hosting the Regis and Kathy Lee show.
Metallica dress up dollies.
Lars School of Karate - check out that karate kick to the bookcase at the end of the whiskey video! |
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Hippyblood
Joined: 30 Jul 1999 Posts: 925 Location: Indiana
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Posted: Tue Oct 19, 1999 4:03 pm Post subject: The Mighty Metallica |
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I'm thinking River Dance. |
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EXCITER
Joined: 25 Jul 1999 Posts: 334 Location: Williamsburg, VA
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Posted: Tue Oct 19, 1999 4:24 pm Post subject: The Mighty Metallica |
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* A Christmas Album produced by the money machine - Gene Simmons.
* A cover of Queen's "Radio Ga-Ga".
* They proclaim that they were only in the music business to meet orchestra members.
* James Hetfield makes a guest appearance on Methods of Mayhem (Sell-out Lee's band).
EXCITER |
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DeathtofalseMetal
Joined: 18 Nov 1998 Posts: 1529 Location: Portland, OR
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Posted: Tue Oct 19, 1999 4:37 pm Post subject: The Mighty Metallica |
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I just can't compete. You guys are too damn funny. Night-Breed, you are killing me!!!
Humbly, I would add:
Divas, starring Celine, Whitney, Shania and JAMES.
Little LARS replaces Kid Rock's midget; gets ass kicked by Gary Coleman in new video.
JASON: Flotsam & Jetsam "featuring all original members."
Hetfield leaves to pursue real passion -- industrial music. Tattoos his head. Is replaced by a guy from a Metallica cover band named "Ripper." New band BOMBS miserably. Reveals that his true passion is really heavy metal (forget all that stuff he said about industrial.) Eventually reforms with band mates for a triumphant tour. What? Ooops. That's the Rob Halford story. Sorry.
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SpiritOnParole
Joined: 02 Aug 1999 Posts: 2655 Location: New York, NY/Somerset, NJ.
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Posted: Tue Oct 19, 1999 6:05 pm Post subject: The Mighty Metallica |
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Summer's Eve?! Woof! How am I ever going to top THAT one? *dramatic pause* Wait...it's coming to me...yes, I've got it! Brace yourselves for...
METALLICA: THE MUSICAL
Featuring:
The Lars Ulrich Dancers
Tommy Lee on vibraphone!
Dancing heroin needles and crack pipes
"The Happy Little Elves"
Special guest appearance by Pat Boone
Maybe James could even throw in a duet with Marilyn Manson while he's at it. Only time will tell.
Spirit
[img]http://www.alicecoopershow.com/images/atticani.gif[/img] |
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SunKingHono
Joined: 28 Sep 1999 Posts: 181 Location: Honolulu, Hawaii
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Posted: Tue Oct 19, 1999 7:42 pm Post subject: The Mighty Metallica |
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Whoa...You guys are brutal! and I thought for sure I was gonna be in deep kim chi for my comments regarding Metaliloaf on another board, but I am pleasantly suprised.
...tomorrows guests on Rosies O'donnel
Tom Cruise
Gary Coleman
Richard Simmons
and musical guest Metallica performing their remake of "living la vida loca" |
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