It was only a few months ago that a literary genius at Infernal Combustion poked fun at Zakk Wylde, Black Label Society leader and Ozzy Osbourne's axeman of choice, for his constant and inevitable focus on beer, pussy and Black Sabbath in the majority of his interviews. But hey, when you're good enough of a guitar player to fill the shoes of the late, great Randy Rhoads, you're allowed to get away with things like not showering for 23 days straight.

With the European leg of the Ozzfest tour currently postponed as Ozzy takes a much needed break to begin some new medication to eliminate his constant quivering - which thankfully turned out not to be Parkinson's disease - Zakk will take advantage of that time to either go on a short tour with Black Label or record a new Black Label album - whatever his beer-soaked, Sabbath-crankin', pussy-eatin' heart desires.

Zakk spoke to us from his southern California home on a sunny Monday afternoon, doing what all BLS fans figured he'd be doing - washing dishes and baby-talking to his youngest child ("Uh-oh, the little guy's up. What are you doing up, Supah-baby!?"). Thankfully, the cracking-open of a beer can in the background - his first brew of the day at 2pm (yeah, we don't know what took him so long either) - cancelled out all the pussiness of babies and dishes.

But the question remains: How long will it take for Zakk to talk about beer and pussy?

SHOCKWAVES: Have you ever been arrested?
ZAKK WYLDE: Yeah, my wife called 911 because I was sexually assaulting her - I was pummeling her with my cock. I didn't rape her or anything, I just f**ked her in half. I beat on her with my schlong. [laughs] Nah, I've never been arrested. I just lay low and drink beers and go home. Who wants to get arrested when you can just hang out and have another couple cold ones? There ain't no beer in jail, man, that ain't my idea of a good time.

Click Here For ZAKK WYLDE Interview Page 2