Soulless and Proud
SPV
1.0 EYES
The sticker on the front said Blackshine was "Goth metal." Really? Nice to meet you, I'm Lester Bangs. This is one of those uniquely European bland bands that sound like nothing so much as a group of musicians attempting to play unabashed rock and roll while simultaneously dealing with the large sticks implanted in their asses. It's too digital, too polished, too something, and though the loping tempos suggest "rocking out," the whole affair is so antiseptic and dull, it might as well be background music for a car chase on Hardcastle and McCormick. And when they do attempt to get "Goth" (or, more accurately, lose the "Ace of Spades" tempo for a more plodding beat), they just sound like bad Paradise Lost!
Maybe it's the vocalist, whose one-note Hetfield gravelling drapes everything in a uniform fog of suck, but I can't picture these formulaic songs being interesting no matter who was at the mic. And the thing is, this band has been around for a while, touring on all sorts of no-hope Euro bills, which only cements my belief that record deals are like socialized medicine in Europe, everyone gets one, and then they do a couple years of compulsory touring before fading into rock and roll oblivion. There's no excuse for being this boring. Bonus points awarded, however, for the impossibly blond, blood-drenched prom queen hottie on the cover. (Keith Bergman)
AGORAPHOBIC NOSEBLEED
Frozen Corpse Stuffed With Dope
Relapse
2.5 EYES
So what do you want me to tell you? Nearly 40 songs in 33 minutes. Drum machine, this time programmed a lot better. Lotsa vocalists, samples, and between-song f**kery. A few places where it sounds like someone got the itch to write, yuh know, parts and stuff, but mostly it's just a barrage, a shitstorm of grind and more grind, with those fun little connect-the-dots bits of ear candy (hey, a Nuclear Assault cover!) to serve as reference points for us lightweights who can't memorize the subtle nuances of the whole thing. Interesting in an academic way, but man, who needs the stress? (Keith Bergman)
Shockwaves CD REVIEWS ISSUE 6 Page 10